Karma Kadiddlehopper

So often these days

Eating Indian food

Passes for spirituality

I don't meditate

I don't pray

But I eat two samosas everyday

-Dan Bern

I've been thinking a lot about Karma lately.  Part of that comes from wondering what the hell I might have done, lo those many years ago, to turn my life into one big pile of crap for the past ten.  The other part comes, naturally, from wondering when the people who have done me wrong are going to succumb to the karmic retribution they so richly deserve. (And, will I get to watch!)  Where those thoughts have taken me is to a place where I don't believe in karma anymore than I believe that Jesus is going to save me or even that I'm, somehow, the Master of My Destiny.  It's all bullshit.

Sure, I believe in consequences for my actions but the notion that it's God or some universal judiciary that doles out punishment when I deserve it just doesn't hold water.  Relatively speaking, I have a pretty decent life, especially when compared to millions - even BILLIONS - of other people in the world, but it doesn't feel to spiffy lately.  When I look at what my life was 10 years ago compared to what it is now, it's pretty evident that the train came off the tracks.  I can't help but wonder, constantly, what the fuck happened.  We all do it.  We all look for some reason when our lives turn into a bad case of the scoots.  I just can't find it.  Is it all just a crap shoot?